(Wanted to blog this yesterday, but some sort of barfalonus and creeping death just about did me in yesterday.)

First a bit of history on my father-in-law:
Thirteen years ago Rob was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. Radiation was used to treat the tumor, and he made what seemed to be a full recovery. Over the years the collateral damage caused by the radiation to good brain tissue has caused his health to steadily deteriorate: speach, hearing, balance, and short-term memory have been most severely affected.
Three years ago a second tumor was discovered. It, too, was inoperable; but after a course of steroids the tumor disappeared. Not a usual response of tumors to this sort of treatment. I hesitate to use the word miracle, but there is no known medical explanation.
Earlier this year a third tumor was found. This one announced it’s presence with a seizure. The good news (I feel dumb even using that expression in this context.) is that this tumor was judged to be operable.
Six weeks ago, Rob had a biopsy on the tumor.
A month ago he suffered another series of seizures. These left him too weak to feed himself, stand, speak, hold his head up, etc.
Three weeks ago he underwent successful brain surgery to remove the tumor. BTW - The neurosurgeon spilled the beans that brain surgery isn’t as hard as perceived. Makes me wonder about rocket science.
After two weeks of rest in the ICU with remarkable physical recovery, he was moved to another hospital with a specialized rehabilitation program. The first week of rehab went well: He was regaining strength all over, even sitting up and standing with assistance.
Last weekend, a small infection was discovered in his lungs. He was moved back to the ICU (of the second hospital) in order to treat the infection as quickly as possible. Early indications are that the infection is being dealt with.
Tuesday morning (my day of barfalonus) CAT scans revealed three blood clots: one in the lungs, one in the upper thigh, and one in his calf. Surgery was performed to insert a screen that would prevent the clots from entering his heart should they break loose.

Now for my blog…
Why do these things have to happen? The entire family is being pushed to the very edge. I know that my first priority is to Kerri and Samantha, my wife and daughter. Boy is it hard to find the appropriate balance. Kerri, understandably, spent yesterday evening at the hospital. I lay on the couch in misery, while 101 Dalmations babysat Samantha.

“Life’s what happens when you’re making other plans.”

To answer my own question I know why these things happen. God has given us ample explanations: direct consequence of sin, my own or another’s; general consequence of sin in this fallen universe; to spur a longing for Jesus’ return and the New Heaven and Earth; as means for God to reveal Himself; as a means of training/developing my character. I know these answers, but when you’re in the midst of the pain, the words feel mighty empty. All I want is for everything to be right. I want to curl up in God’s arms, to hide and sleep soundly until the storm passes. The words seem hollow when the wind is swirling.

That’s all I guess. Just a confession of sorts.